In Inspiration on
May 19, 2015

Building an affair proof marriage

You may have been married to your husband for years or maybe you’re newlyweds and have only been married for a few months. But, how well do you actually know your husband?

His Needs, Her Needs is a book that was recommended to us by TJ’s parents before we got married. His parents have read the book numerous times together and said the it was a great book to read to help set the groundwork in our marriage. TJ read the book in his teenage years [I know I have got it good], and when we got engaged ordered us a copy. I am not much of a reader, but he encouraged me to read it with him. On our weekends together we would take one hour out of our day (usually Sunday night) to sit down and read together. Sometimes we would go for a walk in the park or for a hike and sit down in a nice area and open our book. It took us a few months to complete the book, since we were only seeing each other on weekends at this time. After every chapter we had a discussion on our thoughts and insights. We found this book very helpful and it definitely helped us to lay the fundamental groundwork for a successful marriage…starting on day one.

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The book breaks down the differences between males and females. It explains how each of us work and explains what makes each of us tick. As you read the book it breaks down a male and females typical “top needs”. It explains in detail what each need is and what you need to do to fulfill this need.  After fully understanding all the needs written in the book, it is your turn to creative a list of what needs most fit you. At the back of the book there is a section where you and your husband will create your own lists of needs and wants in a relationship.

For example:

Men’s Needs

1. Sexual Fulfilment
2. Recreational Companionship
3. An Attractive Spouse
4. Domestic Support
5. Admiration

Women’s Needs

1. Affection
2. Conversation
3. Honesty and Openness
4. Financial Commitment
5. Family Commitment

Once you each identify what matters most to each of you, you can then both commit to fulfilling each other’s needs daily. By following some of the strategies in this book, you will have the tools needed to avoid common relationship problems, which as we know over time could lead to serious issues. This book helps to reiterate that it is your responsibility to ensure that your spouse does not lack in their areas of need. Just imagine, if all of your husband’s needs were met, he would be a pretty content husband, right?

His Needs, Her needs is highly recommended for every marriage relationship. It can increase intimacy even in a strong marriage as well as alter the course of a marriage that has gone astray. I highly recommend this book for any couple starting out or any couple needing a new read!

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