To be honest, there will always be fears that a new mom will face from time to time. Okay, to be even more honest, maybe everyday. Don’t worry, I am here to help you get through them. As a new mom myself, I can relate – I had many fears. But guess what? We are still here, 14 months in, and everyone is alive and happy as can be! Take a seat, relax, grab your coffee and let’s disprove those “what if” thoughts that are inside that mommy brain of yours.
1. What if I can’t I get through the delivery?
This was my greatest fear about getting pregnant. Will I ever be able to push out this baby? The answer is YES, you will. Do you ever scroll through your Instagram feed and see friends with their new babies, all ‘happy-go-lucky,’ and wonder how they were a few hours before? Delivery isn’t a walk in the park, but you will get through it. And what better motivation than a sweet little bundle in your arms afterwards?
The day of my induction I was surprisingly very calm. At that point I was so uncomfortable and just ready to meet our baby. When you get past 30 weeks you are probably going to feel the same way. All you can think of it “Lets get the show on the road already!”.
Trust me, you got this! Grab your closest support system and get ready to push – just keep focusing on how worth it it is all going to be.
2. What if I am doing it wrong?
Not everyone raises their child the same, but at the end of the day we have one common goal: to do what is best for our babies. Don’t be discouraged if the way you choose to parent is different than your neighbor, sisters, or co-worker.
Do what is right for YOU, and your family. The first few weeks I questioned myself a lot but had done a lot of research to prepare myself for these very moments. Grab some “first time mommy” books, meet up with a close friend who’s been there, and seek truthful advice from family who will tell you what it is really like. Stop wondering ‘what if’ I am doing it wrong and start asking yourself, but what if I am doing it right? Because you are!
3. What if people think that I am a ‘bad’ mom?
We have all been there. For example, the time when you said you would never do that – and there you are, handing over your cell phone to keep your child entertained. News flash- you are NOT a bad mom.
We all have those days where we need a five minute break. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel less valuable than you truly are. As mothers, we should be there to encourage one another and offer a helping hand whenever we can. But at the end of the day, if you are doing the best that you can, who cares what anyone else thinks?
4. What if I don’t know what to do?
That’s what we have Pediatricians for. That’s what we have mommy friends for. That’s why we have “What To Expect” books for. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
My personal favorite places to go and ask questions are Facebook groups and mommy forums for new moms – I throw out questions and usually get responses within minutes. It’s a great way to connect with new moms and with mothers who have been exactly where you are. Websites like Breastfeeding World are also packed with info!
Don’t be afraid to seek advice from women – they usually love to help. Never feel embarrassed to ask for help – one of the most common regrets new moms have is not reaching out more to those around them.
5. What if I can’t get my body back to the way it was?
You absolutely can and will with a bit of patience, time and perseverance. During my pregnancy I tried to eat as healthy as possible for not only the baby, but for myself as well. I walked 3-4 times a week to stay active. After I gave birth I didn’t have a lot of weight to lose, since most of the weight that I gained was just the baby, and part of my weight loss was also related to breastfeeding.
If you still have a few pounds to go, don’t feel discouraged. You just had a baby and you are beautiful. Enjoy this time, and after you have completely healed, slowly get back into a consistent workout routine.
6. What if I don’t have a social life anymore?
It’s true that once you have a baby you will have less free time on your hands. However, that doesn’t mean that you still can’t have fun. In fact, after I had my baby it seemed I really took advantage of any free time or nights out, and appreciated them even more than before.
It’s good to get a mental break from time to time. If you prefer a date night out with the hubby, ask a close family member or friend to watch the baby and go without guilt.
Lastly, if I could offer you one piece of advice it would be to not to dwell on the fears that you have about parenthood. Rather place your focus on the positives, and be encouraged in knowing that many moms have gone before you and made out okay. My hope for you is that all of these fears will disappear when you hold your baby for the first time as well!
This post was written by Jess, but first found on Society Letters here.